"i swear im gonna cry, im sick of trying to be tough!"....life sometimes gets to me...but i have NOTHING to complain about :)... but just going thru the motions of life, sometimes just get's overwhelming.
This coming week, I have 3...let me repeat that 3 EXAMS, one 6 page paper due tomorrow, additional HW assignments, 2 part-time jobs (which are sometimes the hardest jobs to be at), an Internship, and Volunteering (Primary Children's Hospital, and LDSSA Spirit of Place Institute) to attend to. and I have yet to study for any of these exams, better yet start my freakin paper, or finish my internship assignments YIKES!SHUX, yup, I'm the biggest procrastinator on earth, and I have no idea how I'm still in school? i feel as if i need to just slow down and smell the roses.life's just too busy, and not so meaningful lately...
To add onto this stress, being the Kesi that I am (I TRULY ANNOY MYSELF SOMETIMES) I slammed my hand in the car door coming back up to school from home for the weekend and it just hurt like a mother!Sitting in my car, just overwhelmed with all this stuff on my mind..I didn't make it to church today, I didn't do any HW, my hand hurt :(.. I just broke down and CRIED..cried like a little baby....WOW, I couldn't believe myself, I am so freakin embaressing LOL. BUT It felt soo good to just CRY. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed and alone, crying is a great way to get it all out...but I know I am never alone, ever. I know the Lord loves me and he is always there for me to communicate with, I just need to just talk to him. And that is where I know all this stress is coming from. I need to really get back in tune with the spirit, with GOD.
I have been feeling especially sad because most all my good friends and support system is not currently here. They're either on a mission or are nearly leaving for one! One of my best friends, sister's: Sister KatieLynn Ika is currently serving her mission in Guam. She and I just clicked, and she was always there to do everything with, to learn from and go to events together with and just do everything with, life's been quite lonely without my other butt cheek. My best friends at school Sister Keano Maumau and Elder DJ Maumau are also out in the field in Las Vegas, NV and Colorado Springs, CO. Both were my ride or die partners here at school, along with Lala who made school fun and institute fun. Lala has turned in his papers and is leaving pretty soon come next year, our CREW will all be out on the Mission but me till next year! Sister Nancy Otukolo is leaving for NYC in December!, without her and Katie, wow family functions will def not be the same :( Sister Lesieli Havili is currently in Kingston Jamaica, although we were not as close as we were in High School, her presence was always FUN to be around, she was always a wonderful friend, never shady and that is why I loved her. See, I'm a complete LONER these days.
